So I previously wrote about breast feeding, and how I was helped by a lactation consultant at the hospital. Selah had done so extremely well with latching on and nursing, and I was thrilled that it was going so well!
The breast feeding was perfect for about the first two weeks. Then the third week, it got difficult. Selah started pushing her arms out against my breast and pulling her head back (with the nip still in her mouth), which HURT a whole lot! Then I started trying to pump, and I was so sore and in pain that my head started spinning and I felt dizzy and lightheaded. So I had this weird feeling about pumping. I was getting frustrated because both pumping and nursing HURT!!!
Then we heard a few people talking about how they would nurse and also use formula. Some people would supplement just a little formula per feeding, others would do formula for only one meal. This sounded rather appealing because we could feed her one bottle as we were trying to go to bed (our most difficult time with Selah - around 11 pm) and then I could breast feed her the rest of the time. So we tried it. And of course, Selah didn't want the formula at first. She cried and cried, and wanted to nurse for comfort. So I let her, which kills me!
The next day, I gave her formula again and this time she took the bottle. But she spit up a good bit after. I figured that was normal, and I wasn't too concerned. I let her drink breast milk from the bottle several times and let her have one formula bottle. Then at night, I tried to nurse her and she wouldn't take my breast! Ahhhh. She has nipple confusion! I feel soooo awful.
Today, I gave her some formula mixed with breast milk and she threw it up... I mean, it wasn't spit up, it was lots of throw up. It actually scared me so much I cried. I felt sooo bad for confusing my poor baby, for giving her forumla which she isn't used to (and may not be the best thing for her), and for failing her. I hate that she threw up!
Selah will only take about an ounce of milk or two at a time now (from the bottle), and I am hoping that is enough for her for now. She is also not nursing well at all now- pulling away, fussing, not latching on and suckling.... I feel like I might need to see a lactation consultant again to straighten everything out.
In a way, I wish I had just stuck with the nursing and not tried to introduce a bottle.... but then again, I can't live like that with not being able to have someone else watch her once in a while and give her a bottle. I cannot be there attached to her hip for a full year... We need to be able to go on dates and do things once in a while without her to maintain our sanity.
I wish Selah was able to do both: nursing, and bottle feeding, without any issues. Then I feel bad that I expect her to know how to do that. Poor thing is still getting used to being alive! I just need to figure out what works best for her and us, and stick with it.
aw. that is sad that things have gone that way with nursing and the forumla. I only used formula for the first four days while nursing because that is how long it took for my milk to come in. . .but both my boys nursed well for their first year (Leto an extra three months after that too). You didn't fail her. getting used to all that the first time IS hard. Nursing hurts for the first month or two and I remember I even bled from my nipple a few times when I first nursed and it hurt but lanolin cream was so nice. I couldn't pump though, but tried, and it hurt more. May your journey with figuring out about feeding work well for you soon as you and Selah adjust and all. Micah used to be a snacker nursing baby. 10 minutes is all it took for him about every hour while Leto would eat for 90 minutes and then an hour later I'd nurse another 90s minutes. It was painful and hard. Really, just give her what she wants when she wants it and switch breasts here and there. Leto ate so much and spit up loads while Micah burped without spit up at all. I remember how nasty all that throw up used to be and I felt so badly for Leto constantly having a fountain of milky spit exit his body! I assumed it was from him eating too long but if I took my breast away he'd be upset. . .so I nursed until he'd fall asleep. . . which sometimes he'd continue eating while sleeping! All babies are varied in how they eat and how long and when, etc. It takes a lot of getting used to and pain and frustration, but I am sure you'll do a great job!!!
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